Today we discuss how you can become an intimacy coach.
INTIMACY- This very word plunges a sharp but positive feeling. It alerts our senses and grips us for the forthcoming stuff, right?
In the industry of coaching, there are many coaching niches with diverse business models- Life coaching, Executive coaching, Fitness coaching – to mention some. Then there comes this unique niche- Intimacy coaching.
Intimacy coaches help people to deepen the connections between them and everyone in the environment. They also guide people to achieve more confident sexualities and satisfying sex lives.
In the present era, individuals are trained to be disconnected from their body. Women aspire to get the romance they read in a fairytale while men grow on the porn diet. On both sides, there is a gap between fantasy and reality.
Some people are love addict while others are love avoidant. Reason being the belief that you are not good enough if you don’t love or f**k like your beloved hero/heroines.
Here comes the role of an intimacy coach. He/She helps clients to discover that they can also have healthy relationships and sex. They can also be emotionally and physically intimate.
With growing bitterness in relationships and incapability to express one’s desires, the need for an intimacy coach has increased more than ever.
If you have decided to kick-start your career as an intimacy coach then believe me it’s the best decision that you have made.
I am sure that you have a lot of questions in your mind right now. Unlike other niches, this one isn’t that simple and so demands a unique approach.
No worries! In this article, I have tried to answer all the questions that are hitting your mind right now. So, keep scrolling!
In order to understand what intimacy coaching exactly is you need to to know what INTIMACY means first!
It’s a unique experience. What people crave for is not love but intimacy. Love has its limits but intimacy is limitless.
Intimacy is an evolving process that encourages the peeling of layers back. It encourages one to become more and more conscious of oneself and everything around. It brings you closer to connect with everything and dive deeper into yourself.
Now comes Intimacy coaching!
Intimacy coaching is getting aware of your needs, desires and wants with your body as a guide. It is the process by which one can grow his/her emotional IQ by increasing awareness in the body.
Intimacy coaching involves less of conversations and more of the attitude in the coachee to feel everything intensely. As an intimacy coach, you need to discover why the spark is getting fade in a relationship and ways that can help in recovering it.
Mostly following kind of people require intimacy coaching the most:
- Those who aren’t living in their empowered sexuality currently
- Those who are not able to ask for what they want sexually
- Those who are incapable of mastering intimate relationships with fearlessness
- Those who are craving deeper intimate connections
- Those who want to reduce shame which inhibits self-expression
- Those who wish to understand and communicate their boundaries
- Those who want to develop a non-judgemental attitude
- Those who want to overcome porn and sex addiction
- Those who want to express their sexual desires without the fear of rejection or desire to please.
- Those who want to heal hurts and fulfil missing experiences
To understand this first we need to know how “intimacy” and “sex” differs. Intimacy builds a deep connection between two individuals which sets them completely free in each other’s presence. That unique position is often reserved for just one person.
Sex ideally should be the physical embodiment of intimacy but it also can be mere physical exchange. A one night stand is an apt example of sex without an intimate relationship.
Now, an intimacy coach helps the coachee to build or discover that connection which lays the foundation for a successful sexual life. A sex coach, on the other hand, guides the coachee to find ways (which may include sex postures, seducing partner etc.) to express and execute his/her sexual desires.
Many coaches label themselves both as INTIMACY and SEX Coach. Personally, I believe that if your intimacy coaching is really impactful it will automatically fulfil the need of sex coaching as well. (What say!? ;))
To be an intimacy coach you should have the following in your skillset.
- You must possess an enchanting aura that makes your coachee super comfortable before you.
- You must have the art to convey your coachee a new way of being together.
- You must be able to render necessary love, care and support so that your coachee can feel a deeper connection with his/her partner.
- You should be crystal-clear, bold and witty-minded while putting forth your perspective.
- You must have command on human psychology and social aptitude (And you don’t need qualifications for this, trust me, it comes naturally with experience.)
You should convince your client that intimacy is a skill and so can be learnt!
Who all constitute the target audience of an intimacy coach?
It is very common for wives, mothers, entrepreneurs to put everything else first and lose their pleasure current. Such women may frequently wake up with a thought of unfulfilled desires.
Such women lose their female libido and then search for ways- female viagra or some other drugs- to elevate their sexual drive. This can be one of your target audience.
An as an intimacy coach you must convey such clients that they require a careful analysis of factors responsible for the loss of sexual appetite.
Tell them how you will restore their sex drive and help them to reconnect with their body, self-esteem and longing desires.
Men may feel frequently less sexually confident or issues in an erection. Few men are introverts and cannot easily express their sexual desires to their partners.
You may also find male clients that are unknowingly hurting their partner while trying to get intimate.
Your job as an intimacy coach would be to help men understand the techniques to woo and win women. Irrespective of their age and experience you need to coach them to become super lovers and find peace in their love lives.
This section of the audience will need your coaching the most. This constitutes of individuals whose aspirations seldom remain unrealized and unrecognized.
As an intimacy coach, it is your responsibility to understand their hidden desires. Additionally, give them the comfort which no one yet could provide.
In fact, you can become an intimacy coach specialised with Gender-Queer as your target clients. This would be a good approach to establish your presence.
Couples are looking for intimacy coaches to feel gratified, heard and honoured. Initial years of marriage are not the same afterwards. Many times due to family matters, after the birth of baby, or any other reasons the spark in the relationship fades.
You as an intimacy coach can have such couples as your target audience. You can assist them in finding ways to reinvent that stream of love and sexual desires.
There can be a section of the audience (also your potential clients) that have an appetite for cross-dressing, having sex with same-gender etc. You can coach them so that they can identify their desires and ensure that those are met.
You need to exhibit the power of your intimacy coaching with which you can guide these prospects through their wilderness safely.
The most common sign that signals the need for intimacy coaching is Sex. Either too much or too little. There can be a case where a partner is always initiating while another is always refusing. This may cause resentment and frustration.
The birth of a new baby may lead to the dawn of a different phase with less time and opportunities to fulfil sexual desires. The situation may get complex where unnecessary issues may arise and malign intimacy. This also signals the need for intimacy coaching.
An individual may not be able to overcome his/her past trauma. Consequently, this may creep into every relationship from work to romantic. When people can no longer find themselves capable of handling situations they usually seek for Intimacy coaching.
John grew up within a co-ed school and he felt a bit different then rest of the boys of his class. He dated girls and also had sex with them. Still, he was quite unsure why he couldn’t satisfy his sexual needs and desires. He seldom felt attracted to males and agonized over what would it feel like to kiss a guy. Soon, he becomes conscious of being gay.
Such realizations may signal the need of an intimacy coach as many times it becomes difficult to share even with close ones.
Reeta who is 22 has never masturbated. She is shy by nature and is not open enough with her family members. On top of that, all the girls around her have lost their virginity which embarrasses her.
Mack may find that after 15 years of marriage he suddenly is left with no desire of sex anymore.
Such cases also signal that there is a need to kick-start one’s libido with the help of effective intimacy coaching.
Other possible signs can be:
- Partners have different sex drives
- The couple is fighting on sex more
- Not getting the perfect environment
- The couple wish to have a spontaneous sex life
- Intimacy needs to be a priority
- One of the individuals is experiencing new boundaries
There are various ways by which you can build a thriving coaching practice as an intimacy coach. Some of them are listed below:
- Email coaching
- One-to-one coaching sessions
- Virtual coaching session (via Skype etc.)
- Mock date session
You can also discover some unique ways to make your client feel comfortable for the session.
For instance, few coaches employ a methodology which is called intuitive response to bring the client to emotional stillness and mental calm. This helps the client to discover himself/herself and speak the truth.
The charges of an intimacy coach vary. You can either have a fixed price or can charge by the hour. For instance, you can charge $50 an hour for email coaching or a 120 minutes mock date session at $300.
Similarly, you can have 3 sessions in a week at a fixed price of $300. Here, you can thoroughly understand the needs and aspirations of the client and pave the way to lure him for continuing with you further.
This is a niche where it can be quite difficult for you to convince your client to hire you. There is a high probability that your prospect will demand answers to many questions before he ultimately decides that he needs you.
Let’s have some such questions along with probable answers that might (not necessarily) sort the dilemma.
- How will your intimacy coaching work?
Here the client wants to know the process you would follow. You can provide him/her with details outlining your goals. Tell your client the frequency and modes of interactions that you will use and how you would gradually proceed to ensure a favourable outcome in the end.
- What is your coaching style?
Here is a golden chance for you to exhibit your unique personality. Showcase the unique methodologies you employ. Your style can be converstaional+supportive or motivational yet practical. Tell your clients how you can reconnect them with their body and help them achieve their intrinsic desires.
- Will I need to have any relationship with you for this?
This is not an obvious question but seldom people who are new and unaware about intimacy coaching tend to ask it. Explain the innocent peeps that you work solely with men and women without the need for any relationships to overcome their lack of sexual appetite.
- How can I be sure that this coaching is meant for me?
We already had a look at the signs above that reflect the need for intimacy coaching. If you discover anyone amongst those then your job is to highlight the same to your coachee. Let the client know that there are chances that the situation might get even worse if due attention is not given now.
- I’m an LGBTQ+
This is one of the most sensitive scenarios that need to be handled with utmost care. While dealing with LGBTQ+ individuals you should be able to convey that you understand the social challenges faced by them.
Tell the client how both of you would work together to assert self-acceptance and self-love. Show your excitement to know the client and to provide the comfort which yet remained unreceived.
- How can I restore my relationship dynamics after the arrival of my baby?
Here you need to make your client understand that though the body of the mother might get a transition yet the love between the couple remains the same. It may even increase after the blessing.
The couple must try new and innovative methods with flowers and drinks. They should make an entire occasion out of the night. Advise the couple to plan sex carefully and avoid making it stressful.
If your client is women ask her to accept that her husband still loves her otherwise he could be with some other. If he is the man tell him to give some time and allow his wife to naturally feel that lust again.
Additionally, you can suggest the client these 6 ways to improve emotional intimacy with his/her partner.
- How should I reignite the fire?
Perhaps, in this case, the client needs to first find his/her own passion and desire. The client should be able to tell what turns him/her on and how to pleasure himself/herself. This will help him/her to connect with the partner.
- Do you recommend toys for beginners?
A probable answer can be that toys are good for individual use and especially for newbies. At the same time overuse of any external object to fulfil natural desire may make the body parts de-sensitized to normal sensation.
Apart from this, you can also have a look at some powerful coaching questions that every coach must ask.
- Why would someone trust me with the secrets they share with no one else?
As I had stated before, not everyone is comfortable sharing intimate secrets. Still, there is an inherent need to vent out feelings of joy, anxiety, pressure etc. after reaching a certain level.
Your client may be close to many people but unfortunately, many times the people we are close to are unqualified to understand the issues. Friends can be biased, family unsupportive, colleagues might be a wrong choice for personal matters and doctors lack an emotional touch.
This is where more than medication, an intimacy coach with experience and command on psychology is the best person to approach.
- Inquiries about sexual services
You are a sex coach who isn’t satisfying sexual needs but unfortunately, many people don’t understand the same. There will be inquiries and you should make it bluntly clear that as a coach you do not provide any sexual services. Rather you help individuals achieve physical and mental connections with the perfect match for them.
- Society may start seeing you as a Sex worker
No matter how genuinely you want to solve some deeply hidden issues and help people out, society may still put a black mark on your profession. You should ignore such remarks.
Instead, appreciate people that come to you for sharing their vulnerability and making you realize this amazing part of being a human.
Not at all! You can start boasting yourself as an intimacy coach today. Still, holding an educational background in psychosexuality coupled with experience will make you more market-ready.
You need to have real skills to understand the complexities, analyze and sort the best ways to get your client out of the situation.
Your personality, your aura, the strength of your process and your coaching style is what will ultimately earn you high-end paying clients.
Hey! We have reached almost to the end of this article. All the information that I have furnished above was to give you a clear idea of what does intimacy coaching actually mean and constitutes. Also a glimpse in the life of an intimacy coach.
Becoming an intimacy coach can not only be a good source of earning but also can lead you towards a more meaningful life.
You can be the sole reason in building the future of your client, his/her partner and even the entire family. LOVE is the driving force and intimacy is even deeper than that.
Apart from that, this niche is still booming and if you start early then you can emerge as the niche’s leader and inspire many.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What is Intimacy coaching?
Intimacy coaching is a process in which trained coaches help couples and individuals explore the roots of their sexual and emotional difficulties with the ultimate goal of overcoming those problems.
What does an intimacy coach do?
Intimacy coaches provide helpful guidance for people struggling to maintain intimacy with their partners. They hold the space for conversations about what is healthy, what needs to change, and how to begin to work on those changes. Intimacy coaches are there to hold the hands of the couples walking this journey together.
What skills are required to become an intimacy coach?
Depending on the coaching style, it’s important for an intimacy coach to have advanced communication skills, empathy and understanding of the human psyche, and knowledge in fields such as sex therapy, psychology, sociology, counseling, and marriage and family therapy.
How an intimacy coach is different from a sex coach?
Intimacy coaches are more focused on teaching couples about emotional intimacy and connecting on a mental level, whereas sex coaches focus on teaching sexual techniques and focusing on the physical aspects of the relationship.
How much money do intimacy coordinators make?
As of 2021, it is difficult to find information about the salary of an intimacy coordinator because there are not very many professionals in the field. It is estimated that the average salary for this position ranges from $62, 000-$100, 000.