You’ll find various couples around you struggling. They don’t know how to end a toxic relationship. This is because they don’t know how to cope in life once they are single.
They rely on their significant other for emotional support. They become scared to let go, even when they know that the relationship isn’t working out.
There are so many people around us who need help during such a difficult time.
It is here that the work of a breakup coach begins.
The World of Breakup Coaches
Breakup coaches are popular with young couples in today’s world.
More and more people in society today are looking for an understanding and reputable breakup coach.
They are either seeking advice on how to end a toxic relationship or looking for comfort once they are single.
There is no way to put it gently. Breakups are terrible.
It could be a mutual, amicable situation.
It can just be a crash-and-burn scenario where you didn’t see the end coming at all.
In any case, letting go of another person you get attached to is never easy. In fact, it is the hardest thing many had to know.
People should be talking more about it. But nobody does. Thankfully, breakup coaching is only growing.
It is admirable that you want to learn more and help people.
People Need a Breakup Coach
We all have a different coping mechanism.
We tend to deal with the end of relationships in so many different ways.
While some of us like to talk about it, others believe in ‘eating’ their emotions.
From making a profile on dating apps to abusing drugs and/or alcohol, people do all sorts of things. They do it because it is an instant fix. They want to fill that void. They simply don’t know how to react to life anymore.
But not all of us can get over a breakup instantly. The time we take to get over a significant other depends on the intensity of our feelings for that person. Even if we recognize the relationship to be toxic and problematic.
Having said that, it is important to note that intensity alone does not determine how we can get back to our normal selves.
It also depends on the reasons for the breakup. The emotional capabilities of an individual. The client’s immediate surroundings. There are so many reasons.
Bouncing back to reality is hard. It needs support.
The grieving process involves a range of emotions.
They don’t have to follow the same order. What one person experiences is different from another.
How one processes all these emotions and rises above them is different from individual to individual. Moreover, some of these sentiments may last longer than others.
“In an unhealthy relationship, we seek, find, then dislike an opposing trait in our partner,” licensed psychotherapist Karen K. Koenig believes.
She also says that “In a healthy relationship, we value it because we have something to learn from it.”
Another misconception about a breakup can be that the person who has initiated the split doesn’t suffer. That’s not true.
The ‘doer’ may often feel relief at first. But their feelings could also take the form of guilt, anxiety, and/or sadness.
So, what does one do?
What do they do if they think that a good amount of time has passed post their breakup?
What do they do if they still can’t cope with the loss?
The answer is simple. They seek professional help. And this is where a breakup coach steps in.
A breakup coach is an expert in heartbreak. They guide people going through a breakup. They will help them cope with their loss.
The goal of a breakup coach is to assist their clients. Eventually, they can bring clients back to normal life.
While it is true that breakup coaches generally work with people who have suffered the end of a romantic relationship, their clientele isn’t limited. Recently divorced couples or people estranged from their family and close friends could also consult a breakup coach.
Breakup coach Natalia Juarez explains that moving on can often be unexpectedly difficult.
“Given how common and devastating heartbreak is, it’s surprising how challenging it can be to get the support we need,” Juarez tells Elite Daily.
“The unique features of working with a specialized breakup coach have the tremendous benefit of not only accelerating your healing but also turning your breakup into a meaningful experience of personal growth.”
If you think that you have what it takes to coach people who are grieving, then you can be a top-notch breakup coach. You can read more about this my blog.
You might be unsure about what it is that a breakup coach must do or how profitable the career can be. Don’t worry, I understand your apprehensions.
My article about promoting your coaching business will help you get started as a breakup coach.
This brings us to the most obvious question. What is it that breakup coaches exactly do?
I’ll tell you what a breakup coaches do. Well, they bring us perspective.
Breakup coaches are experts. They are the ones who understand the challenges people tend to face post the end of a relationship.
It is this experience they use to guide and counsel a person.
More specifically, a breakup coach has many responsibilities:
They help you deal with the trauma of a dead relationship
The main responsibility of a breakup coach is to help the client accept the end of a relationship.
Moving on means a whole lot of different things to all of us. One needs to talk to the client. They will then understand what it is they are seeking as closure. Further, they can also know what will help them move on in life.
They will normalize everyday life
Getting their life back on track is a big problem for people who recently went through a breakup. A breakup coach needs to step in. Then, they should assist their client in all ways possible.
They will speed up healing
Yes, we all heal at a different speed.
And it is extremely important that we let our emotions run their own course. Still, we also can’t sit around forever moping the end of a relationship.
Breakup coaches help set a timeline for recovery. They make sure that we are on the right track.
They will boost confidence.
A lot of people tend to blame themselves for a relationship gone bad. They will enter a spiral. So many emotions run amok. Despair. Hurt. Confusion. Sadness. It’s all overwhelming.
Making a relationship work is always a two-way street. So, it isn’t fair for one person to take all the blame.
While we keep blaming ourselves, it is our self-esteem and confidence that takes a hit. A breakup coach’s responsibility is to make us believe that it is not the case.
They will help clients get back in the dating saddle.
When people struggle post the end of a relationship, they also make themselves believe that they will never be able to date again. You know how that feels. It’s a sad situation. Nobody should feel that way.
A breakup coach helps her/his clients get back in the dating saddle. Just because one relationship didn’t end well, doesn’t mean that the rest of them will follow suit.
They will usher positivity. They will help clients see the bright side of things.
Now, you might be asking yourself why would people hire a breakup coach to get over someone when one could easily talk it out with friends.
It’s not just friends. It can also be family or acquaintances. Or imagine the worst-case scenario: colleagues.
You are right.
But, isn’t it always better to consult an expert to get the best possible care?
Reaching out is normal. Reaching out to a breakup coach is the right way to do things.
The post-breakup period is a pivotal moment for change. Nobody recognizes this better than a breakup coach.
The coach does constant checks on you. This will ensure that you turn out to be the best possible version of yourself.
Further, a lot of people would find it easier to open up to a stranger rather than their close friends. This is because they fear that they will get judged.
Nobody likes to show that they are vulnerable.
We are all scared to let out our worst-possible selves for we fear that the people we are close to might abandon us. In vulnerable times, we cannot see things correctly.
Thus, most of us would prefer to talk to an outsider than to people we have known for a considerable amount of time.
Talking to a breakup coach also brings objectivity.
The coach has no background to you or your partner. They don’t know what happened and how it went wrong. With this lack of detail, they can bring objectivity. The cards are straight. The coach can clear any confusion you have.
By now you know who a breakup coach is.
Are you in a fix and thinking about how you can become a successful breakup coach?
You can become if you have the essential skills required to be a breakup coach.
I will list them out for you.
Being a Good listener
People going through breakups are mostly just looking for people to talk to.
This is how they make sense of their own emotions. As a breakup coach, it is important that you make them feel heard.
A good listener comes across as someone who is wise, understanding, and empathic. You should always lend your best ear.
Breakup coaching relies on empathy. A good breakup coach builds a rapport with her/his clients.
This is because of his ability to share the feelings of others.
Empathy helps a coach understand how the client feels and thinks. This goes a long way in successfully coaching them.
Every relationship has problems. Some don’t end even when the relationship does. Sad but true.
As a breakup coach, you should have a problem-solving attitude.
If your client leaves these issues unattended, she/he might face the same set of problems in the next relationship.
So, the coach makes the way for a new, healthy relationship.
Being non-judgemental and open-minded
Breakup coaching involves asking the client some really intimate questions.
A good coach keeps an open mind and does not judge her/his clients for their life choices.
The moment judgment steps it, one will fail to successfully coach the client.
It might seem that there is no difference between a breakup coach and a couples therapist. This is because both tend to deal with relationship issues.
But, the two are not the same. In fact, their scope is different.
Couples therapist evaluates relationship problems. They offer guidance for resolving them.
The therapist focuses on a specific problem in a relationship. These include sexual difficulties, possessiveness, and lack of respect among others.
Couples therapist tries to resolve the conflict between the couple using a variety of therapeutic interventions.
The questions which a couples therapist deals with include:
- How to develop effective communication with your partner?
- How do you truly feel about your relationship?
- What makes your relationship strong?
- Are you just going through a bad phase?
- What are your expectations from your significant other?
- What are your individual and couple goals for the therapy session?
Meanwhile, a breakup coach works with one person instead of a couple. A breakup coach helps an individual deal with the trauma of a dead relationship.
The breakup coach helps their client, alone, to bounce back.
If you believe you have it in you to guide others to the best version of themselves, then just go ahead and do it.
Many factors determine the earnings of a breakup coach.
Let me list them out for you:
- Where is your coaching business located?
- How much do you charge per hour/per session?
- How many years of experience do you have in the field of breakup coaching?
- How many clients do you have?
You need to determine your fees while opening a coaching business. Many coaches also offer a coaching package to their clients.
You can also do so based on how you want to market yourself.
You can easily earn a six-figure income if you market your business well.
As per Payscale.com, breakup coaches in the United States of America can earn anything between $250 to $400 an hour.
It depends upon the experience and clientele of the coach.
The more upscale clients you have, the more you can charge.
On an average, the annual income of breakup coaches can range from $90,000 to $500,000!
Does helping heartbroken people interest you?
Do you think you have what it takes to normalize the life of people suffering because of a breakup?
Breakup coaching is amongst the most profitable life coaching niches.
It resonates with almost every person in the world. It is now a booming industry. It is a new kind of therapy that is being explored by ambitious entrepreneurs.
But there are more reasons that should influence your decision to be a breakup coach than just money.
You should be capable and willing to understand various relationship dynamics.
Additionally, you should also have it in you to bring about a change of attitude and perspective in others.
If this sounds like you, then yes, you are ready to pursue a career in breakup coaching. Don’t look back.
Now that you know and understand what it takes to be a breakup coach, let us find out how you can go about it. Do you think you need a certification?
Let me tell you this. You don’t. Especially in this field. Breakup coaching comes straight from the heart. It’s your natural talent. It’s your skills. Moreover, there is no standard training for breakup coaches.
If you still want to pursue an official course, you can begin as a life coach and then specialize. You can get training in various life coaching techniques and skills.
You can also take up a course in behavioral psychology. This will help you understand different personalities and temperaments.
There are thousands of other interesting courses online if you want to take a look! I’ll list down some of the best ones I have come across.
A simple Google search will show you several books and podcasts. As a breakup coach, you may want to look up some of these:
- The Breakup: Balancing Releasing Emotional Analysing Knowledgeable Understanding Process by Candace Campbell
- It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy by Greg Behrendt
- The Book of Separation by Tova Mirvis
- Releasing You From The Past: Healing Past Hurt Through Forgiveness by Stephen Richards
- Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow by Elizabeth Lesser