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Valentine’s Divide: Americans’ Spending Spree, Widespread Boycotts, and V-Day Therapy Surge

The Coach Foundation recently conducted a survey with 2,000 Americans to get a deeper understanding of Valentine’s Day and its impact. This intriguing survey explored various aspects of the day dedicated to love – from how much people spend on gifts and dates, to those feeling heartbroken and seeking therapy after Valentine’s.

Valentine's Divide: Americans' Spending Spree, Widespread Boycotts, and V-Day Therapy Surge Valentine's

Key Findings

  • Boycotting Valentine’s Day: Remarkably, certain states showed a particularly high tendency towards this trend. In Alabama and North Dakota, an astonishing 7 in 10 respondents indicated that they chose to boycott giving gifts to their partners. This high percentage suggests a significant shift in attitudes towards Valentine’s Day, with many viewing it as overly commercialized and choosing not to participate in traditional celebrations.
  • High Expenditure States: On the flip side, when it comes to spending, New York and California lead the nation. Respondents in these states reported spending an average of $112 on Valentine’s Day festivities. This figure reflects not just the higher cost of living in these states but also possibly a greater inclination towards celebrating the day with traditional gestures like gifts, dinners, and other activities.
  • Spending on Valentine’s Day Dinner: When it comes to a classic Valentine’s Day dinner, our survey found a wide range of spending habits. Notably, a considerable 65% of respondents across the country expressed willingness to allocate a significant part of their budget to a special dinner. On average, individuals were prepared to spend between $50 to $75 on a Valentine’s Day meal. This statistic reflects the enduring popularity of a romantic dinner as a central part of Valentine’s Day celebrations, showcasing that despite varying attitudes towards the day, the tradition of sharing a meal remains a cherished aspect for many.
  • Higher Therapy Demand Among Women: Our survey revealed a notable trend regarding therapy during and after Valentine’s Day, particularly among women. A significant 6 in 10 (67.34%) of female participants reported that they were more likely to consider therapy during Valentine’s week and immediately after. Many cited feelings of being unloved by their partner or overwhelmed by the pressure to embody a perfect expression of love on this day.
  • Significant Emotional Impact on Men: The survey also brought to light that men are significantly affected by the emotional dynamics surrounding Valentine’s Day. Approximately 3 in 10 (32.11%) of male respondents reported feeling the strain of the day, leading some to seek therapy. These men mentioned issues like pressure to meet societal expectations, feelings of inadequacy in expressing affection, or dealing with relationship issues intensified by the Valentine’s Day spotlight.

Spending, Boycotting, and Dining: The Varied Faces of Valentine’s Day

In our comprehensive survey on Valentine’s Day, a striking dichotomy emerged in how Americans choose to celebrate, or in some cases, reject the day dedicated to love.

In the face of rising costs and economic uncertainty, certain states, notably Alabama and North Dakota, there’s a growing trend of boycotting Valentine’s Day. Remarkably, 7 out of 10 respondents in these states reported opting out of giving gifts to their partners, reflecting a significant shift in attitudes. Instead of indulging in the commercial aspect of the day, these individuals prefer a simpler celebration, often choosing to spend quality time at home rather than splurging on gifts. This perspective suggests a resistance to the commercialization of love and a departure from traditional celebrations, highlighting a societal reevaluation of the day’s significance.

In stark contrast, when it comes to embracing the spirit of Valentine’s Day with open wallets, New York and California are at the forefront. Respondents in these states are not shying away from spending, with an average expenditure of $112 on Valentine’s festivities. This figure not only reflects the higher cost of living but also indicates a greater inclination towards celebrating with conventional gestures such as gifts and dinners. However, it’s not just these states that are spending generously. Across other states, the average willingness to spend hovers around $60.

A central aspect of these celebrations is the classic Valentine’s Day dinner. Across the country, a considerable 65% of respondents expressed their willingness to allocate a significant part of their budget to this tradition. On average, individuals are prepared to spend between $50 to $75 on a Valentine’s Day meal, underscoring the enduring popularity of sharing a romantic dinner as a key part of the day’s celebration. This trend holds true across different states, with many seeing a special dinner as a quintessential part of the Valentine’s Day experience.

The survey’s findings reveal the multifaceted ways in which Valentine’s Day is celebrated and perceived across the United States. From those choosing to boycott the day in opposition to its commercial nature to those who enthusiastically partake in its traditions, Valentine’s Day continues to be a day of diverse interpretations and practices.

Love’s Pressure Cooker: The Valentine’s Day Effect on Mental Health

Valentine’s Day can really mess with people’s heads, especially women. About two-thirds of women out of 1,000 surveyed ( a staggering 67.34%) said they’re more likely to think about therapy during and after Valentine’s week. They feel lonely or stressed because of all the hype around the day. But it’s not just women – around a third of men (32.11% ) also feel the pressure, enough to make some of them consider therapy.

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This shows that Valentine’s Day isn’t all chocolates and roses. It can make people feel bad about themselves, whether they’re single or in a relationship. The pressure to have the perfect day or the perfect partner can get to anyone.


Overall, the survey paints a picture of a nation adapting to economic pressures while still seeking to honor the traditions and emotions of Valentine’s Day. From economic boycotts to continued spending and feeling the toll of love’s burn, the day’s celebration is evolving.


In January 2023, we surveyed 2,000 Americans that are currently in a relationship, engaged, and married.

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