Most often marriages act as our biggest support system, giving us love, care, support and a lot more. But sometimes things go terribly wrong. The blessing becomes a reason for our pain and misery.
Infidelity, abuse, money and addictions are few reasons behind high divorce rates. And it’s very common. Research shows that nearly 50% of all marriages in the USA end up in divorce.
Divorce does not merely end a marriage, there is some serious collateral damage. It also affects your children, your personal well being, your finances, your friendships and so on.
With all the hardships and misery it also gives you an opportunity to create change. Divorce is the time redefine your life, relive your dead dreams and get back in control.
It is quite hard to deal with, much harder than you think. Then why face it alone. Get help from someone who knows the right way. Get a Divorce Coach
Who is a Divorce Coach?
A Divorce Coach is a professional who helps the clients through different stages of divorce. A coach guides them to make the right decisions during the divorce process and helps them overcome various challenges they might face.
A divorce coach gives strategies and tools to make clients achieve their goals. A coach can help out a client with personal well-being, parenting, conflicts resolution and so much more.
A divorce coach is not an alternative for an attorney or a therapy. As you read further, I will explain you in detail the necessity of divorce coach.
Divorce And Its Common Problems
Divorce isn’t as simple as signing on the dotted line. This small word is the root of such massive problems. It may shake up your world like an earthquake, and that may be an understatement.
Let’s just have a look on common challenges faced by individual going through a divorce.
Storm of Emotions: From the very beginning divorce brings a riot of unpleasant emotions. One party may feel guilt, regret or doubt. While the receiving party may feel shocked, cheated or insecure.
During a divorce, chaos hits both the parties and often leaves them traumatized.
One simply doesn’t get over this state in days or months. This may take years to get back to normal. (That too, with some professional help.)
The uncertainty of finances: During divorce, each couple struggles with money related matters. Divorce can impact both current and future financial state of an individual. In marriag,e a couple may have various assets as well as debts. And as they split up, they may have to divide these (debts and assets) as well.
Each parent also has to bear responsibility for their child’s maintenance( day to day, schooling, medical, and other expenses).
Effects on children: A child suffers the most during parental separation. While parents are trying hard to cope up with divorce, their children feel neglected.
Losing touch with one of the parents could be the hardest thing for a child. Due to the low financial support, they may experience a change in lifestyle, school or neighbourhood. over time a child may end up feeling resentment for the parents.
It is also seen that children of divorced families have increased risk of mental health issues (anxiety & depression). These children also show behavioural problems and have an inclination for substance abuse.
Low self-esteem: Spending years in an unfulfilling relationship can gradually degrade one’s confidence. The shock of a divorce causes further damage.
This low self-esteem affects both personal and professional life. In many cases, this takes the form of serious depression.
This state of mind is quite harmful for an individual as it impacts one’s judgement. During divorce, one has to make decisions that have serious consequences. And depression only makes things worse.
Social un-ties: You forces to cut off ties with your extended family that had been there for years. it’s common for an individual to lose friends as their marriage falls apart. There are many who chose to take sides with either party.
Also after many long years of marriage individuals find it difficult to form new connections. Loneliness is another more gift of divorce.
How A Divorce Coach Can Help?
Move on: Divorce may end the marriage but not bonding and dependency between the partners. A divorce coach will help you cut off loose ends and make you get over your partner.
Coach also guides to resolve conflicts with the parents. Thereby creating a healthy transition from partners to co-parents.
Back in shape: Often after divorce, an individual has low self-esteem, resentment, anger, guilt and other negative beliefs. A coachhelpsp an individual vent out these chocking emotions and give it all rational perspective. A coach acts as a therapist helping the client recover from the emotional damage and making them feel at peace again.
Parenting plan: A divorce coach enables a parent to help their children cope up during the divorce period. Coach teaches a parent how to make a child feel more secure and stable during the transition.
The parent learns how to identify and fulfil children’s emotional needs while giving them space to adjust the change. Good parenting is critical for the child’s emotional well being.
Making a critical decision: During divorce, one has to make decisions that critical for their well being. A coach is someone who has gone through the divorce and has good insight into these matters.
There are matters of the child’s financial support, health care and schooling. A coach explains various implications and ground realities to the client. This broadens the perspective and help you make wise decisions.
Self-care: Struggling with divorce one ends up neglecting their comfort and personal needs. A coach helps a client clean up the mess and get more organised. One learns the ways to unwind and take good care of themselves.
Coach also assists with techniques that are useful in coping with stress and chaos. Mindfulness, meditation and other therapies help the coach feel more relaxed and stable.
The right connections: In a divorce an individual needs help in so many areas. Need an attorney, a financial planner or a psychologist. A divorce coach has a solid network of professionals who a client could use.
Whether you need help with depression or revamp your career, a divorce provides a solution to most of your problems instead of being stuck in an unhappy marriage.
What does a divorce coach do?
Pain and struggle of individual facing divorce are somewhat similar. Yet each one and has their own aspirations and face a unique set of challenges. Therefore the approach of a divorce coach is flexible and varies from client to client.
In general, a coach follows these basic steps for each client they work with:
Background study: A coach first assess the client current situation. Like various issues faced in their relationship and the root cause of separation. Their current stage of divorce (shock, denial, blame, bargaining, depression & acceptance). Their mindset and emotional state the client. Other issues related to Parenting and finances.
Once the basic details are taken they move to the next important step. Which is…
Identifying needs and goals: A client may have difficulty with the legal process, child support issue or emotional counselling, the divorce Coach has to locate the areas where a client needs the most help.
Further, a coach has to understand what a client expects out the coaching. As a coach, you may have to refine the goals of the client as per the client’s core values.
Regaining self-control and confidence, improving rthe elationship with children, letting go of the exact or attaining personal well being.
Now it’s the…
Action-time: Coach then structures the coaching sessions so that the client achieves their goals in a step by step manner. Coach set a deadline and handholds the client throughout the journey.
Coach also gives tailored strategies and tools to help clients cope up with the challenges faced. Coach also defined various practices and rituals that could bring a positive change.
Along the way, a coach has to…
Keep them motivated: Recovering from a divorce is a long process and may take years. And coaching only works if a client is motivated throughout the process.
A coach has to ensure that a client sees an immediate benefit in every session. Setting short-term goals is another way to keep them encouraged.
Who Can Become A Divorce Coach?
You may be a housewife or regular corporate employee, you can become a divorce coach. Sounds simple? Yes, it is.
It would definitely give up an added advantage if you have worked in the following professions.
d) Family mediator
How to become a Divorce Coach?
This business is not yet regulated by the government, so currently there is no standard certification. Yes, you can call yourself a divorce coach.
But are you an effective divorce coach?
To be successful you need to be a master of your trade, not the jack. And for that you need training.
First of all, training and certification gives credibility and differentiates you from the untrained coaches in the market. Means, client is more likely to choose you if you are trained.
In a training program, you will learn advanced tools and skills to help the client through different stages of divorce. You will gain advanced knowledge to help your clients make better legal and financial decisions.
Lastly, the training will further enable you to turn your divorce coaching practice into a profitable business.
Now let’s look at a few institutes that offer Divorce coach training. There are many names over the internet who operate by their own standard. To name a few:
Cost Of Training To Become A Divorce Coach
Some offer classroom training while others teach online. Some programs last for 4 months while some only take 2 days training.
There the cost of training is different for different programs.
For instance, CDC’s Divorce Coaching intensive training is a 16-week program that costs $4,400.
Divorce training program by ‘The Divorce Coach Institute’ costs only $595.
Running a successful coaching practice!
Now that you have the skills to get the best results for clients, is that enough?
I say No! Because being a successful coach requires much more than being a good coach.
If you start with your divorce coaching practice unprepared you may end up in some real mess. To save you the trouble I have prepared a list of must-haves that can make you feel secure in the business.
Certification: the chances that a client will trust a new name are quite bleak. So your training and certification are what will help you get noticed. Being trained from an accredited institute gives you credibility, which means more clients (& better business).
Background: Divorce has an impact on so many areas of an individual’s life. Be it finances, child care or emotional well being. It greatly helps you and your clients if you have previous experience as a lawyer, psychologist or a financial advisor. This will also help you in creating a niche, which means working with your ideal clients.
Network: At times you cannot help your clients with issues that are beyond your scope. But you can still assist them by recommending them to who can. So it is necessary that you have a strong network of professionals such as mediators, attorneys, therapists and financial advisors.
That will make your services holistic and make you popular in the market.
Branding and marketing: In today’s time, no business can be successful without a robust marketing system. The Internet is where they all look for a coach. You have to promote your unique brand and assets on a website and over social media. Displaying your qualifications, skills, experience and client testimonials can make a huge difference.
If it is too much to handle, then hire someone to do it for you. ( yes, I can help you there).
Be Likeable: this most important quality of being a successful in the coaching business. People going through divorce suffer great emotional distress. They seek someone who is trustworthy and comfortable to connect with. A coach has to non- judgmental and empathetic towards their clients.
Most importantly, one has to genuinely willing to help someone out. Being solely driven by money will not make you a successful coach in the long run.