Signs You’re Being Gaslighted at Work

Signs You’re Dealing With Gaslighter Behavior

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser tries to make the victim doubt their perception, memory, or reality. If you suspect you’re dealing with gaslighting behavior, here are some signs to look out for:

1. You’re constantly questioning your perception

Gaslighters have a way of distorting reality and making you question your own experiences. They’ll often deny things they’ve done or said, making you doubt your memory and leaving you feeling confused and unsure of yourself. 

They might even go as far as manipulating situations to make you believe that your perception is wrong.

Gaslighters thrive on creating a power dynamic where they’ve control over your thoughts and emotions. This constant questioning of your perception can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem and mental well-being.

It’s important to trust yourself and seek support from others who can validate your experiences and help you navigate these manipulative tactics.

2. The gaslighter tells you you’re making mistakes when you know you aren’t

You can’t help but feel frustrated and confused when the gaslighter insists that you’re making mistakes, even though deep down, you know you aren’t. It’s as if they’re intentionally trying to undermine your confidence and make you doubt your own abilities.

They may constantly nitpick at your work, pointing out supposed errors and flaws that you can’t see. 

It’s important to remember that you aren’t the problem. Trust your instincts and seek validation from others who can confirm your abilities. Don’t let the gaslighter’s tactics shake your self-belief.

3. They tell you they “never said that,”- but you know they did

Gaslighters are masters at distorting reality and manipulating your perception of events. They’ll confidently deny saying something, even when you have a clear memory of their words. 

This tactic is designed to make you doubt yourself, question your own memory, and ultimately undermine your confidence. Gaslighters use this strategy to control the narrative and maintain power over you. 

By denying their words, they can avoid taking responsibility for their actions and avoid accountability. It’s important to trust your own memory and not let their gaslighting tactics erode your self-belief.

4. They praise you in private but criticize you in front of the rest of the team (or vice versa)

When someone praises you in private, it creates a false sense of security and confidence. You may start to believe that you’re doing a great job and that your colleagues appreciate your efforts. 

However, when they criticize you in front of the rest of the team, it not only damages your self-esteem but also undermines your credibility.

It creates a toxic work environment where you constantly doubt yourself and feel humiliated. This manipulation tactic is a clear sign of gaslighting and shouldn’t be tolerated. 

Remember, you deserve to work in a supportive and respectful environment where your accomplishments are acknowledged and celebrated.

5. You’re frequently left out of important meetings and decision-making conversations

Don’t be surprised if you find yourself consistently excluded from crucial meetings and decision-making conversations, as this is a clear indication that you may be dealing with gaslighter behavior at work.

Gaslighters often use exclusion as a tactic to undermine your confidence and make you question your worth and abilities. 

By deliberately keeping you out of important discussions, they create a power dynamic where they control the flow of information and decision-making processes.

This can leave you feeling isolated, undervalued, and unsure of your role within the organization. Being left out of these conversations not only hinders your professional growth but also denies you the opportunity to contribute your ideas and expertise.

If you consistently experience this exclusion, it’s important to address this behavior with your colleagues or supervisor to ensure your voice is heard and your contributions are recognized.

6. The gaslighter manipulates situations to embarrass you

If you find yourself frequently being put in embarrassing situations at work, it’s a clear sign that you’re dealing with gaslighter behavior.

Gaslighters are experts at manipulating situations. They may intentionally embarrass you in front of your colleagues or clients by criticizing your work harshly or pointing out your mistakes publicly. 

They might also spread rumors or share personal information about you to undermine your credibility and reputation.

Gaslighters thrive on making you doubt yourself and feel ashamed, as it gives them a sense of power and control. 

If you consistently find yourself in embarrassing situations orchestrated by a colleague, it’s important to recognize this behavior for what it is and take steps to protect yourself.

7. No matter how hard you try, your work is never “good enough

You can put in your best effort, but your work will never be good enough when dealing with gaslighter behavior. Gaslighters have a knack for making you feel inadequate and incompetent, no matter how hard you try to excel in your work.

They constantly find faults and flaws, nitpicking every little detail, leaving you feeling like you can never meet their standards. 

They may undermine your achievements, discount your contributions, or dismiss your ideas, making you doubt your abilities and second-guess yourself.

This constant criticism and belittling can be demoralizing and erode your self-confidence over time. Remember, it isn’t a reflection of your skills or capabilities but a manipulation tactic used by gaslighters to maintain control and power over you.