Top Skills That an Emotional Intelligence Coach Must Master [2021]

Are you interested in becoming an Emotional Intelligence Coach?

Just like IQ [General Intelligence], EQ [Emotional Intelligence] is an important concept. IQ means processing information and reaching conclusions. EQ in a similar way means processing emotions and deriving conclusions. Emotional Intelligence is the ability to identify and manage one’s own and others’ emotions.

Developing Emotional Intelligence in a person is not an easy task. Mostly it happens that people with strong IQ are weak in EQ and vice-versa. Developing EQ in persons with a strong IQ becomes even difficult since they hardly realize its importance.

Now the question arises –

“What is the need for emotional intelligence?”

We all live in a social setting. The way we think and react depends a lot on how much control do we have on our emotions. This affects a lot in our relations. We attract people on the basis of what kind of personality we are. Our Personality is a function of many parameters. Emotions play a key role in the same.

Being emotionally intelligent means that you have the ability to:

  • Identify what are you feeling
  • Understand the emotions of others
  • Regulate your emotions
  • Manage the emotions of others

Tackling our own emotions and understanding others’ can be difficult. This is why the need for an emotional intelligence coach arises. The emotional intelligence coach coaches people to identify and manage their emotions. Along with this, such coaches also guide them on how to behave with others in a social setting. They emphasize the importance of EQ both personally and professionally.

If you are an Emotional intelligence coach or are aspiring to become one then you master some skills. These skills help one to develop emotional intelligence.

First, you yourself need to master these skills then only you will be able to coach others. Along with that as a coach, you must be aware of the ways in which your coachees can imbibe these skills.

Don’t worry! I am here to simplify your task.

Today we will discover skills that an Emotional Intelligence Coach must master. Blend these skills with your coaching philosophy and let the magic begin!


Self-awareness is a skill that is most important in developing Emotional Intelligence. If you lack it, it will become difficult for you to identify and manage your emotions. Lacking self-awareness means sitting on a boat without anyone to drive it. You will have no idea where you are heading towards.

As an emotional intelligence coach, you will get many clients that will be aimless. The major reason for the same is that they aren’t aware of themselves. They don’t know what do they need. They haven’t yet discovered their goals and aspirations. Along with that they even don’t know what emotions they are experiencing. Seldom people are weak at expressing. Raising one’s self-awareness becomes extremely important at this time.

How would you do that as an emotional intelligence coach?

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There are three things that self-awareness includes:

  • What are you doing and why
  • How are you feeling about your job
  • What you don’t know about yourself

Coaching your coachee with these three things will help in developing self-awareness.

Before doing that, you must master this yourself. After all, you are an emotional intelligence coach. Your greatest mantra should be – “Practice what you preach.” For doing that first you need to master self-awareness yourself.

I will tell you how you can do that.

Know what are you doing

Why do you think of becoming an emotional intelligence coach?

What are your goals?

Is money the factor that is driving you?

Will you feel satisfied to see someone improving their EQ through your coaching? Is this your reason to become an emotional intelligence coach?

You must answer all these questions. The first step to becoming self-aware is identifying your goals. Identifying why are you behind something.

Know what are you feeling about your goals

You might feel excited. You may feel a bit anxious. If you are a newbie in the coaching industry you may feel difficult to be at par with the recent coaching trends.

Identify what feelings are you experiencing. Once you do it for yourself, it will become easier to do it for your coachee. At the same time, don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes it’s difficult to say what emotions are we exactly feeling. At that time, let it flow. You will learn to name your emotions with time. This practice should also be part of your coaching approach.

Identify your emotional bullshit

You may feel annoying when your client doesn’t follow the action plan. It might be distracting for you to see your client stubborn and reluctant for a change. You need to identify all this as an emotional intelligence coach. Only then you will understand the changes that you need to take in your approach and strategies.

Empathy – a skill that a coach can’t lack

Being empathetic means that you can identify others’ emotions. This means that you can put yourselves in others’ shoes. This is a very important skill without which any coach will fail. If you are an emotional intelligence coach it becomes even more important for you.

Imagine how would you coach your clients to understand the feelings of others when you yourself can’t do it?

Empathy lets you understand how does a person feel. It lets you figure out why does someone behaves in a specific way. This will help you to understand the pain points of your clients well. You can provide constructive feedback to your clients. This will take your client closer to transformation.

Thus you see how vital is mastering the skill of Empathy. Now the question arises- “How will you do this?”

You must imagine yourself in the position of your coachee. If you haven’t experienced such a situation, think of a near to similar experience. You can also think of someone in your contact who might have gone through such circumstances.

Listening actively and observing minute details will help you to feel the situations. Try to understand rather reaching to a conclusion. Always have a non-judgemental attitude. You must be able to communicate your empathy to your client. This is possible through your body language and voice regulation. Watch this video to realize the importance of empathy.

Self-regulation helps a Coach to deal with difficult situations

This is one of the toughest skills. Regulating your emotions becomes inevitable to handle certain circumstances. An emotional intelligence coach has to manage his/her emotions in various instances.

You will get different kinds of clients. Sometimes even when you know that the client is wrong you cannot shout or scold him/her. You have to be rational in your attitude. If one approach doesn’t work you need to come up with another. That’s what your job is. All this will be possible only when you can self-regulate your emotions.

Self-regulation is useful while adapting to changing situations. This helps in gaining the trust of your clients. Involve breathing techniques in your daily routine. This will help you to keep calm and communicate efficiently. Teach different ways to self-regulate the emotions of clients.

Motivation is a vital element for developing emotional intelligence

You are an emotional intelligence coach. Motivating your clients will be your day-to-day responsibility. Motivating oneself and others is not everyone’s cup of tea. If you are self-motivated, it will become easy for you to motivate your clients.

For a motivated personality handling emotions becomes easy. It becomes even easier to face difficult emotions. Procrastination reduces. Motivation boosts self-confidence.

If you are an emotional intelligence coach, first figure out:

“Do you feel motivated in your job?”

If you don’t, then even your clients will not feel the same.

Too revive the spirit of motivation, focus on why you chose to be an emotional intelligence coach. Set new goals if there is a need. Remain optimistic. Only a positive person can remain motivated.

If you feel happy and motivated as a coach, you can easily make your clients find value in themselves. Remember, you are the source of motivation for your clients. You must have skills similar to that of a motivation coach. Thus, the first step is to become a pool of motivation yourself so that your clients don’t get a scarcity of it.

Social Skills – Let’s see how they impact a coach

Emotional intelligence means managing one’s own and others’ emotions. The best way to implement or test the same is by interacting with people in a social setting. If you have good social skills, it would be easier for you to handle emotions while interacting.

As an emotional intelligence coach, you will need social skills in various areas. Networking, marketing, selling- all require good social skills.

As a coach, you must be excellent at communicating with people. Along with that, you must have some social qualities that are needed in routine life. They include:

  • Patience
  • Diligence
  • Honesty
  • Perseverance etc.

Mastering social skills will allow you to articulate your purpose well with the clients. Your clients will be able to connect at once with your coaching process. When your coaching approach encompasses social skills, you can easily figure out what the client wants to achieve.

Social skills will make you more cooperating at your job. You can easily understand and manage each individual. This will foster strong bonds of relationships. Conflict resolution will become easier. You will behave as an inspiration for your client. This way your client will be able to progress fast. Also, have a command on these 9 skills that every coach must-have.

Detecting and responding to stress

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Stress tests your emotional intelligence the best. It is damn easy to control emotions during safe situations. Stressful and pressurized situations encourage outburst of feelings of anger.

You will encounter many such situations during your coaching sessions. If you are not good at identifying when stress is building and managing it, things can go worse. Impulsive arguments and decisions can create even bigger problems.

The resolution of the matter becomes the prime need during stressful situations. Most of the clients who will come to you will be dealing with stress. They will need your help to manage and kill stress. If you don’t know how to manage emotions in stress, you won’t be able to coach your clients for the same. Coach your clients with different ways to manage stress.


Blaming others is easy. Admitting your mistakes and holding yourself accountable for your actions is difficult. When you blame others, you lose your EQ score. If you want your coachee to be accountable, so has to be you.

Your actions may contribute to the inefficient performance of your coachee. You may be too rigid. Your strategies might not be working as expected. Your coachee may find it too difficult to align with your action steps.

What will you do in such situations?

Will you blame your coachee?

If you fail to realize that this is a result of your mistakes rather than your coachee, you will fail as a coach.

If you want your coachee to be accountable, you have to be so first. Admit your mistakes in front of your coachee. This will solidify the trust of your coachee in you. This is how you can set an example in front of your coachee and encourage him/her to be accountable. Clients value the coaches who are relatable as well as approachable.

Humor and humility

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The best way to speak for your work is by letting others do it for you. Practicing humility in your words and actions today will pay you later. The results of your coaching process will demonstrate your expertise. This will also help you to build a solid referral system.

At the same time, try to be best with humor in the toughest situations. This will make the coaching process fun. In this way, your clients can learn how even the toughest situations can be managed with a pinch of humor. Humor in coaching is indeed a serious business!

The assertive style of communicating

Emotionally intelligent people know how to communicate with people respectfully. Assertive communication means neither being too aggressive nor too passive.

As an emotional intelligence coach, you will need to embody the assertive style of communication. Communication here includes both verbal and non-verbal communication.

How does mastering an assertive style of verbal communication help?

Your coaching sessions are going to be of a fixed duration. The assertive style of verbal communication will help you to make the most of your coaching sessions. This will avoid any unnecessary conflicts between the coachee and you. It’s difficult to tell someone where he/she is wrong and why a change in attitude/behavior is necessary. Your tone and choice of words will matter a lot. If your way of communication isn’t good it can hurt your clients. Here are some tips to improve your communication skills as a coach.

How does mastering an assertive style of non-verbal communication help?

Non-verbal communication includes the following:

  • Body language
  • Communication via text, email, and presentations, etc.

Effective non-verbal communication is even difficult than verbal communication. Not always your body’s actions will be in alignment with your emotions and thoughts. If you are one of those whom people find difficult to interpret with bodily actions, you must improve.

As an emotional coach, your prime responsibility would be listening to your coachee. There’s when the role of your body language will be important. Small gestures like facial expressions, nodding of head and tapping at the back motivates the coachees. It gives them more confidence to speak frankly.

Also, you will have to communicate via online methods. Communicating via text and emails increases the chances of miscommunication. Seldom the words that you choose don’t convey the real intentions. This can lead to misunderstanding.

You must sound emotionally intelligent while communicating both verbally and non-verbally. Remember that your client is learning through you. Be the way you want your client to be.

Channelizing emotions

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You cannot end your emotions. You can just control them. And how will this controlling work? Through your actions and reactions. That’s the only way you let your emotions flow.

There is no “Good” or “Bad” emotion. The reaction associated with a particular emotion can be termed as good or bad.

Anger can be a destructive emotion when you misdirect it to hurt yourself or others. At the same time, if you use your anger to fight injustice then it can be called a good emotion.

Similarly, Joy is a good emotion when it gives you peace. But if the joy is derived from hurting others then it is not at all a good emotion.

Thus you see, emotion in itself doesn’t hold much value. The way you choose to channelize them impact you and others. As an emotional intelligence coach, this is a very important principle that you must implement.

Coach your coachee to channelize their emotions to bring the desired outcomes.

Managing emotions consists of three steps:

  • Identifying what you are feeling
  • Deciding whether it is an appropriate emotion or not
  • Acting or reacting accordingly

If your coachee can learn to perform these steps, the transformation process will become smooth. Make sure that you as a coach don’t find it difficult to channelize your emotions. Then only you will be able to coach your clients for the same. Emphasize how can your clients achieve any goal by channelizing emotions.

Recognizing emotions in others

Most of your clients will find it difficult to manage healthy relationships. The whole point of developing emotional intelligence is to foster healthier relationships. All kinds of relationships begin with recognizing and respecting others’ emotional needs.

Can you recognize the emotions of others?

If you find this difficult, you must start improving the same today. As an emotional intelligence coach, this is an important skill for you as well as your coachee.

If you want to master this skill, start connecting and empathizing with others. Listen to others and communicate your feelings frankly. You must not be in a quest to completely understand people around you. Rather accept them the way thy are. Learn to value their existence. Don’t see them with your perspective. Try to understand what is forcing them to behave such.

Recognizing emotions in others will help you to think from the point of view of your clients.

This will strengthen the trust of your clients in your coaching process. Your clients will realize that you truly want to see them succeed. This will build a strong bond. Recognizing the emotional dynamics of your client will accelerate the pace of your coaching process.

Infusing emotions with values

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You can be emotionally intelligent and at the same time devoid of any values.

Even a conman is emotionally intelligent. He knows well how do emotions play in others. But if he is using his emotional intelligence to lure others, is it really worth? How is emotional intelligence a virtue here?

An emotional intelligence coach might cheat a client by not delivering sufficient worth and charging high. Do you think this will be good in the long run? Using your emotional intelligence to manipulate others is not a good practice.

It is important that you know what your life’s true value is. That’s where your emotions will be directed. An emotional intelligence coach must know where to consider EI as a virtue and where not. If the coach doesn’t know this the entire foundation of the emotional intelligence coaching will break. This will not be justice to your profession. Never compromise with your values. This will definitely hurt you and your coaching business in the long run.

Final Thoughts

I know this was a comprehensive piece of writing. I am pretty sure that you must have realized the worth of certain points like never before. For an Emotional intelligence coach, mastering the above skills is really important. If you are not comfortable with the same yourself, how will others trust you? Why would they consider the need for hiring you? How will you appear as a competent coach to them?

You coach what you know. So if you want to coach your coachee to develop emotional intelligence, first develop the same in yourself by mastering the above skills. Thereafter, coach your clients for the same.

All the best!

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